Monday, June 3, 2013


So Tara was over today, after getting Larry back on the road (our eighty-six year old mother had had a minor car accident in him; she was fine, he wasn't), and as we were hanging around in the back yard chatting about gardening she saw a bit of metal sitting on the ground.

That's nothing extraordinary around these parts, of course. I'd seen it myself, and thought Oh I should pick that up but I always had my hands full or something at the time. It wasn't very big, anyway, just a random pipe connector thing, the kind that looks like a piece of elbow macaroni.

But Tara's twitchier (or less lazy) than I am, and so she went to pick it up.

Turns out it was attached to a length of pipe; and next to it, buried in the ground, was a hunk of metal.

And another. And another. And another.

By the time she was finished rooting around this is what we had:

That was all buried, mind you. On the surface it had looked perfectly clean, with the grass growing over it normally, but for that one elbow connector thing.

Yeah. This is why we laughed when some dood not too long ago offered to cut some firewood for us in exchange for taking a metal detector to the yard. First of all that's a weird request because he was assuming he'd keep anything valuable (it's an old house, so who knows), but second, really? That thing would be going off constantly and be worse than useless.

Well, I guess that's the beginning of the next scrap run, isn't it?


TC said...

The scrap metal version of "still waters run deep."

julienne said...

Wait until you uncover chains in the dirt! I've dealt with the same thing - even used a rake in the really choice spots, like the corner of a building.

I'm glad you're back. I take inspiration from your toils and commentary. I'm going to need you when I go back to my folks' farm this summer - last summer we got rid of 10 TONS of scrap metal, using a skid loader and hand labor. I think there's 10 more. I'm still cussing out my tightwad grandfather, who died in 1966.

Good to see you again!

Tehomet said...

Wow. *shakes head*

Gladys said...

Wow. I wonder what you would find if you hooked up a rake thingy (<--v. technical term) to a tractor and just sort of RAKED the grass everywhere...

Talk about opening a can of worms! Maybe you can make it like an Easter egg hunt and let people keep the crap they dig up?

Anonymous said...

I think the idea of an Easter Egg hunt is pretty funny. "Let the people keep the crap" --hysterical.

I was going to ask about a metal detector on the land...but if it's going to beep constantly...what would be the point.

I assume that you girls never had a chance to run barefoot in the yard.

Keep up the good the way you write!

a reader from the chicago area

Anonymous said...

You are fantastic. I appreciate both your candor and your humor! Neglectful parenting is such a hard legacy to dig yourself out of, even metaphorically---that you're doing it literally as well is just amazing.